It's Halloween today and we all are freaked out by the ghosts and goblins that are inhabiting our world. But this morning at breakfast, I was accused by my wife, Jackie Cristiano, of trying to murder her with a blueberry stem. Here's the conversation:
Her: Thanks for the berries with my egg, dear, but you forgot to remove the stem from this blueberry.
Me: Now that is going to make for a really scary day. Hope you can cope with it.
Her: I think you were trying to murder me.
Me: What? Murder you?
Her: Yes, with the blueberry stem. It was really big and you were hoping I would choke on it so you could get a young sexpot in here.
Me: Dear, if I was going to murder you, I would choose something more lethal than a blueberry stem.
Her: It was really big. You were hoping I would choke.
Me: It wasn't that big. Blueberry stems are not lethal.
Her: They could be.
Me: You are a wacko lunatic.
Her: No I'm not, and it's a good thing I spotted it. Probably saved my life.
Me: Well, I'm glad you found it, too, dear. I certainly wouldn't want you to choke to death on a blueberry stem.
Her: It would be a pretty much foolproof way to murder somebody. And finding it in an autopsy would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. And you probably know that.
Her and me: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!