According to iPhone’s “Siri,” the most trusted name in Internet research, there are at least 232 men named Richard Head living in America. I planned to interview all, but because I‘m a busy retired senior citizen, I decided instead to predict how they might have answered the following question:
Who is America's biggest Richard (Dick) Head?
The overwhelming response, by unanimous mythical vote, was “Donald J. Trump.” Investigative journalism demanded I follow up. Next, I would have pursued reasons why these Richards might have bestowed this honor on Dangerous, Dishonest Donald (DDD).
Here’s what they might have told me, had I pursued them:
There are multiple reasons DDD is America's biggest Richard (Dick) Head. He once suggested we drink bleach to protect against COVID-19. He’s also the only president in history to face multiple criminal indictments and civil suits upon leaving office.
On April 8, 2024, this darling of white Christian men everywhere declared he was pleased that different states would have vastly different abortion laws. It’s perfectly fine with him that some states will have very conservative laws and others will have very liberal laws. His waffle on abortion angered everyone, on both sides of the political aisle.
His comments were not too surprising, though, because he has always waffled on the issue.
In 1999, he was “very pro-choice.” When he decided to become politically active as a Republican in 2011, he declared “I am pro-life.” In 2015, he waffled on the fate of Planned Parenthood: “I would defund it because I’m pro-life, but millions of women are helped by Planned Parenthood.”
In 2016, he argued for “some form of punishment” for women who seek abortions. In 2017, Trump “strongly supported a 20-week national abortion ban, but in 2020, he claimed that “God made the decision” to overturn Roe.
If DDD is “pro-life,” why reject all efforts to enact sensible gun control? Why suggest he could shoot someone on a public street and get away with it? And wouldn’t a true pro-lifer support “life of the mother” exceptions to abortion restrictions?
Why offer to pardon the January 6, 2021 insurrectionists guilty of Felony Murder? Why call them “patriots” and “heroes,” language he usually reserves for Neo-Nazis? After all, DDD believes there are “good people on both sides.”
On domestic issues, DDD once argued that “if this country gets any kinder or gentler, it’s literally going to cease to exist.” On immigration and border control, he promised to “build a great, great wall on our southern border, and . . . have Mexico pay for that wall.” He advocated for rounding up immigrants in “a very humane way, in a very nice way. And they’re going to be happy.” DDD, the biggest Richard Head, wasted millions in taxpayer dollars on the wall and on tax breaks for billionaires.
Speaking about 9-11, one of the darkest days in American history, DDD claimed he “could have stopped it, because I have very tough illegal immigration policies and people aren’t coming into this country unless they’re vetted and vetted properly.”
What a dick-head!
Please check out Mark Bello’s ripped-from-the-headlines legal thrillers, all available online at Amazon and other major online booksellers. He has quite the hero in Attorney Zachary Blake, who fights for justice on all fronts. His books are Betrayal of Faith, Betrayal of Justice, Betrayal in Blue, Betrayal in Black, Betrayal High, Supreme Betrayal, Betrayal at the Border, You Have the Right to Remain Silent, The Final Steps – A Harbor Springs Cozy Legal Mystery, and his latest, The Anti-Semite Next Door. Also, he’s written a wonderful children’s book about bullying, “Happy Jack, Sad Jack,” and he's just announced the pre-order release of "Love Hate Law," a new legal romance novel. For more info, just check markmbello.com.