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Mr. Fly Moderates the Debate

Updated: Oct 9, 2020

On October 7, 2020 history was made when a common black housefly took over moderator Susan Page's microphone and buzzed some juicy questions to Vice President Mike Pence, upon whose head he was perched, and Democratic challenger Sen. Kamala Harris.

It was a moment that political scientists and history buffs will never forget, because until then the debate was pretty much a snorer, except when Harris told Pence to stop interrupting her with his Trump ass kissing so she could finish her answers.

So here's what the fly wanted to know and the candidates' responses:

FLY: Mr. Vice President, why is it that you will never be seen in the company of a woman without your wife being present? Doesn't she trust you? You're supposed to be such a goody- goody-two-shoes and all.

PENCE: Now, Mr. Fly, why would you ask me such a question? That just goes to show how hateful you people in the media can be. I just love my wife and I never want her to have a reason to doubt me.

FLY: Really? Sounds like she's got you on a pretty tight leash, buster. You need to grow some...

PENCE: Now that's not fair. That's just not fair. You're just another Main Stream Media clown.

FLY: Mr. Vice President, I'm no clown. Can't you see, I'm a fly? And proud of it. Just look at my wings! Where are your wings? Looks to me like Karen clipped 'em.

FLY: Enough of that. Your turn Sen. Harris. What do you think of the way the VP and his boss, Donald Trump, have handled the coronavirus pandemic?

HARRIS: Well, that's kinda obvious, Mr. Fly. It's so bad, that even Trump hiding out in the White House bunker couldn't avoid catching Covid 19.

FLY: Mr. VP, what do you have to say to that?

PENCE: Senator Harris, why do you have to say things like that? You're nothing but a big meanie.

FLY: Mr. VP, you didn't answer the question. Stop shucking and jiving and answer the question. I only have so much time here.

PENCE: What was the question? Oh, you want to know about the great job we are doing on the pandemic with only 211,000 people dead in the US. Right?

FLY: Well, that's not really how I asked it, but what's the answer?

PENCE: The president deliberately gave himself Covid-19 so he could experience it first hand and prove that it's nothing to be afraid of. That's just the kind of leader he is. He's all about serving the people.

HARRIS: What??? Are you nuts? The man doesn't care about anyone but himself. He caught Covid because he was irresponsible, refused to recognize how serious this is, and jeopardized everybody else. Now the White House is a Covid-19 hot spot and people are afraid to show up for work.

FLY: Thankyou, Senator. That leads me to ask about the Trump administration's plan to get rid of Obamacare in the middle of this pandemic. Even though I'm just a stupid housefly that loves to land on poop and garbage, I know that's a stupid and irresponsible position to take.

HARRIS: Just remember this. If you love someone who has a preexisting condition, they're coming for you. Remember that!

FLY: OK, VP, Cat got your tongue?

PENCE: Senator Harris, that was a very mean thing to say. Why do you have to lay it out like that. The American people don't need to have such bad news.

HARRIS: The American people can handle it, don't worry. They just want to know the truth.

FLY: I've had enough of your BS, Mr. VP. I'd get out of here and turn this thing over to our moderator, but I seem to be stuck. What in hell did you put on your hair, anyway? It's kinda sweet, but it sure is sticky.

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